Nomadic Display

So I acquired part of a Nomadic Display today. Basically its this giant expandable metal thing that is used at trade shows and stuff to show off your goods. Sort of like the top two parts of this picture here.

So Joey and I are trying to brainstorm some good uses for it, and this is what we’ve come up with so far (obviously it needs some sort of tarp or something to go over it for most of these):

  • Hang glider, or maybe a kite or something
  • A tent or lean-to
  • Some sort of backdrop thing behind a couch (add a few lights and speakers)
  • A crazy bookshelf of some kind
  • A torture device of some kind (although this would require finding someone to torture)
  • A trade show display of some kind (real original, eh?)

Got any ideas? I plan on taking lots of pictures of whatever it is I end up doing with this contraption.

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Hand-held shower heads rock

So Becca and I were at Lowe’s last night picking out dishwashers, sinks, refrigerators, cabinets and so forth, and I remembered that I wanted a new shower head, so he headed to the shower head aisle.

After much deliberation, I chose the hand-held Waterpik Powerspray plus Pulsating Message with optiFLOW with 6 Unique Flow Settings for $24.98. Pretty fancy name, eh? And not too bad of a price, either.

So to use the new shower head, I need to remove the old one. But oh no! I didn’t have a wrench! Joey wasn’t home, so I decided to go through his stuff looking for a wrench. I couldn’t find one, but I did find a vise, so I clamped it on to the shower head and off it came! (Actually it took a freaking lot of effort to get it off, and I tried a few dozen other tools before I finally realized I could use the vise, but it makes me look more MacGyver-ish if I pretend I immediately thought to use the vise…)

The new shower head went on in like 5 seconds, and it works amazingly! Like seriously! The old shower head barely put out enough pressure to get the shampoo out of my hair, but this thing has this crazy pulse setting that can literally wash your skin off of your body (not literally).

Anyways I just wanted to congratulate myself on the ingenuity of using a vise as a wrench.

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PA

So I’ve decided to get a PA system for my car. In case you are dumb or something, a PA system is like what a cop has that lets him yell at people without leaving his car.

So what brought on this desire for a PA system, you ask? Well on the way to work, one of the tunnels I have to go through always has a long line because it is only one lane in each direction. Well some people think it is okay to cut in line, and thus mess things up for everyone else. So I want to have a little fun antagonizing them.

Think about it. Wouldn’t it be great if a car pulls up next to you, trying to cut into this massive line, and you just whip out the PA and say something like: “Hey! Yeah you, in the minivan! Who do you think you are? Are you blind? Did you somehow not notice the line that is here every freaking day? Or maybe you think you’re better than the rest of us or something? I’m serious! What makes you think its okay to cut in line? Did you miss that day in kindergarten when they taught the concept of it to you or something?”

Or maybe the people using the HOV lane when they are the only person in the car: “Hey you in the Dodge Stratus! What are you doing?! You’ve only got one person in the car! Are the giant white diamonds painted in the lane not big enough for you? It really isn’t that complicated of a system: Cars with 1 person use the normal lanes, cars with 2 or more persons use the HOV lane. But I guess you’re slow or retarded or something because you’ve only got one person in your car, but you are in the HOV lane. Maybe I can send you a book or something to help you out with this super difficult situation. Something like: ‘See Jane drive. See Jane drive in the HOV lane. See Jane get the F out of the HOV lane because she isn’t supposed to be there.'”

Or in the parking lot at Wal-Mart when some idiot decides to drive the wrong way down the aisle: (In a deep rumbling voice) “This is God! Thou shalt not drive in the opposite direction of the giant white arrows that I have sent my servants to paint in the aisle.”

Or when someone is driving like 10 MPH under the speed limit and you can’t get around them: “HONK! HONK HONK HONK!” (if they haven’t sped up within a few moments) “HELLO!!! I’m honking at you! HONK HONK! My grandma drives faster than you! Drive the freaking speed limit!”

Or when getting pulled over by the police: “These are not the droids you are looking for.”

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Busch Gardens Shenanigans

Some say that the Alpengeist is the scariest thing to do at Busch Gardens, some say the Griffon, and some say one of the other “scary” roller coasters. However, I disagree. My vote for the scariest thing to do at Busch Gardens goes to “meeting Becca’s parents”.

Okay so it really wasn’t that bad. They’re cool people and they didn’t hate me or anything (at least not openly), but the anticipation leading up to “meeting the parents” is quite unpleasant to say the least. But like I said, it wasn’t that bad. Her dad even bought me dinner and (without his knowledge) paid for me to see the new Harry Potter. And to top it off, Busch Gardens today was a blast!

Surprisingly, Becca agreed to go on the Griffon first thing, which I’ve been wanting to go on since I heard of it. It was considerably shorter (both in duration and height) than I expected, but it was still really fun. Went on a few other rides and had a good time. Becca and I burned out on the roller coasters pretty quick though, so we had to find something else to do to keep ourselves occupied.

So this is the point in the story where I start to do the whole “the names in this story have been replaced to protect the innocent” sort of thing. We’ll call the characters in this story “Martin” and “Eileen”. So Martin and Eileen needed something to do to keep us them busy, so we they decided to take a peek at the gift shop. In the gift shop they discovered one of those penny smashing machines that cost 2 quarters and a penny, and out comes a flattened penny with a logo on it. Well Martin and Eileen had a penny, but they didn’t have 2 quarters. Being quick thinkers, our heroes headed over to the fountain in Germany and alas! Many quarters! In went Eileen’s empty hand and out came Eileen’s considerably wetter hand filled with 2 quarters! Hurray!

They rushed back to the magical penny machine but, alas, it was broken. Luckily there was another one, and to make a long story short, Martin and Eileen ended up rescuing many coins from many fountains, and each of our heroes ended up with a neat little flat penny. The End.

Wasn’t that a nice story? Anyways, after Busch Gardens we went and saw the new Harry Potter movie at the IMAX. It was pretty cool! I’m not even a huge Harry Potter fan and I still liked it. Much darker than the previous movies though. Definitely moving out of the young child category.

Anyways, I’m totally beat and need sleep. Adios.

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4th of July Travel Log

So for the 4th of July, Becca, Joe (NASA), Ashley, and I hopped in Joe’s car and drove west. No plans. No goals. No objectives. Sort of The Way by Fastball style.

It was pretty freaking awesome. We used Jessie (my GPS) to find a few interesting things to do, and ended up going to the Edgar Allan Poe museum in Richmond, VA. Well, the gift shop at least. We spent a good 10 minutes being excited about the gift shop and all its novelties (and postcards!), and then realized we hadn’t even gone into the museum yet. But then we realized it isn’t free, and it isn’t really cheap, so we moved on to a new location.

So down the street was the Virginia Holocaust Museum. It was free, so we actually went through all of it. It was very very impressive and well planned. At one point, there was an underground railroad type tunnel thing that you crawl through to get the feel of escaping from the Nazis. So I’m crawling in first, and it is pitch black, and my crazy mind starts imaging things like some psycho hiding in the tunnel to kill unsuspecting visitors, when suddenly I hear a scream, and so I scream and jump back like 37.5 feet and look like a complete wuss when it was just Becca going the wrong way through the tunnel. I almost wished it was a psycho killer guy so that at least I’d have an excuse for the jumping back in fear thing. Oh well. Anyways, no postcard here, as they were all rather depressing and stark.

So we hopped back in the car, and off we went to nowhere. Eventually we ended up at a pizza place, where Becca spit all over the pizza and I got a picture in front of a street sign that said “hussey”. Good times.

So next we went to Monticello, which is some Thomas Jefferson thing. Becca fell up (and then down) some stairs, so it was a short visit. Okay, so maybe the $15/person also discouraged us from actually visiting the place, but we got postcards!

Next we went to Charlottesville. Got some pictures of a Robert E. Lee monument and walked around there amazingly lame tourist area. Not the best part of the trip. Like seriously, even their tourist bureau building thing was closed. Very lame.

So we quickly left and ended up at the Blue Ridge Parkway. We picked a hike and tried to go on it, but couldn’t find the trail head, so we picked a different trail that was 1.5miles and off we went. It was nice, until we got to the end of the 1.5mile trail and discovered that the trail we were on lead to other trails. What a waste of walking. So we walked back to the road, got a few pictures of the view, and drove on.

Our last stop was at a Chinese restaurant. The food wasn’t amazing, but by that time we were pretty beat so any food that wasn’t individually wrapped was pretty tasty.

On the ride home we even got to see quite a few fireworks.

Anyways, that was my holiday. If you get the chance, take a few friends and drive nowhere. You’ll be surprised how much there is to do when you don’t try to plan ahead.

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